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Welcome, Chad 👋

Hello, Chad. We know this has been a rough landing. Crashing a UFO is never ideal. But you’re here now, on a planet called Earth, surrounded by creatures called humans — and we want to help you fit in.

This vault is your complete guide to understanding human life. Think of it as the instruction manual that every human should have gotten at birth but didn’t. You’re actually getting a head start.

What Are You Dealing With?

You’ve landed on a rocky, water-covered planet orbiting a medium-sized star. It is home to approximately 8 billion humans — a single species with enormous variety in appearance, language, belief, and behavior.

Humans are social animals. They live in groups. They communicate constantly. They have needs (food, sleep, safety, love) and wants (status, entertainment, purpose). They can be deeply kind and shockingly cruel, sometimes in the same afternoon.

Your goal: understand them well enough to live among them without causing alarm.

How to Use This Guide

This guide is organized into 13 sections, moving from the absolute basics (what is a tree?) to more complex topics (how do you evaluate a news article?).

Recommended reading order:

  1. What is Earth — Know the planet you’re on
  2. What You Look Like — Understand the body you’re inhabiting
  3. How Your Body Works — Keep it running
  4. Language — Start communicating
  5. Reading & Writing — Unlock written knowledge
  6. Numbers & Counting — Math is universal
  7. What is Society — Understand the big picture
  8. What is Culture — Understand the variation
  9. Then explore freely based on curiosity

A Note on Variation

Here is the most important thing to understand before you begin:

There is no single “right” way to be human.

Humans have been evolving and spreading across this planet for over 300,000 years. In that time, they have developed thousands of different languages, religions, governments, customs, and diets. What is polite in one country may be rude in another. What is sacred in one religion may be forbidden in another.

This guide will teach you the patterns and principles that apply broadly, while flagging where things vary significantly. Pay attention to those flags — they will save you from awkward situations.

Final Word Before You Begin

Humans are, on the whole, decent. They laugh. They grieve. They make art and music and sports and food out of thin air and raw ingredients. They take care of each other (mostly). They are confused about many things, including their own purpose.

You are not so different from them, probably.

Good luck, Chad. We believe in you.

“To be human is to be in a constant state of figuring it out.” — Many humans, probably

Next: How to Use This Guide | What is Earth